So drunk, too bad you don't want this
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
