I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
