why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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