thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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