Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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