If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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