I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
