You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
