Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
