I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
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He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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