I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
and she was petting her beer can
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
