I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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