i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize