Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
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maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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