she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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