Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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