i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
