I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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