is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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