he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
