Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My butt remains clenched, sir.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
