You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
