sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
