was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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