you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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