So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
