Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I party with great urgency now.
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