and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
