the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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