I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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