If i come over, it means nothing
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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