I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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