I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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