OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize