Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
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And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
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i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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