In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
