i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
