Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
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all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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