Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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