Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
