You made me cry and you don't even care
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize