I got chris browned last night
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
