I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
