it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You did what with his pubic hair?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
