Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
