woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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