Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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