All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize