Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
