oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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