where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
