that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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