I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
