weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
My balls are so social today.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize