I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
