david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
