you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
