So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
