Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
