Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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